Multi-American ®

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What is it like to live in a family in which you’re a U.S. citizen, but your spouse, one of your parents, a sibling, an uncle or aunt, even one of your children is undocumented?

During the past week, Multi-American has presented a series of first-person stories from people in families like these. Families of mixed immigration status are surprisingly common. In 2009, the Pew Hispanic Center estimated there were 8.8 million people living in mixed-status families in the United States.

This makes for a conservative estimate, as Pew’s definition was limited to families with unauthorized immigrants and their U.S. citizen children. Even more common are mixed-status extended families, one example being the Kenyan-born family of President Obama, whose undocumented half-uncle was arrested in August, and whose aunt was up for deportation until being granted asylum.

Why are mixed-status families so prevalent in the U.S? The demand for family reunification through legal channels is much larger than the number of available immigrant visas, for one thing. And for those who are in the U.S. illegally, it is much more difficult to adjust one’s immigration status than commonly thought, even through marriage. Those who entered with visas and overstayed stand a better chance, but tighter laws over the years have made it impossible for many people who entered without visas to ever adjust their status.

So what is life like for these families? As those who contributed to the series have explained, things as simple as taking a trip together are fraught with anxiety, or just not done. Those here legally don’t add their spouses to insurance plans or add their names to loan documents. “It’s as if she doesn’t exist,” one person wrote. Here are some highlights from the series.

• A woman in Arizona who is a U.S. citizen writes about life with her undocumented husband, who has been unable to adjust his status and is now being deported:

People who don’t have undocumented family members don’t believe me when I tell them he can’t get papers. They don’t believe me when I tell them my brother-in-law can not enter this country legally to pick crops. They always tell me I’m mistaken. Or they’re callous and don’t understand how easy it was for their ancestors to enter, and how difficult it is now.

• A man who works with elementary school students in Portland, Oregon public schools writes about how media images and public attitudes affect children in mixed-status households:

Many of my students have a lot of sad issues with their cultural identity, stemming from the kind of hateful things they hear all the time about them and their families. The undocumented population in Portland is pretty big, so there’s not as much fear or secrecy as there are kids growing up having to listen to their neighbors and the media speak about their parents as if they were sub-human. That causes lasting damage to kids, and it sucks.

• A woman who was born to Mexican immigrants in Kansas City, Missouri writes about life with her domestic partner, who has tried to adjust her status but remains undocumented:

It hurts to keep so many secrets. I can’t put her on an application for a loan and I have to say I’m the only person in the household. I can’t put her on my health or auto insurance and again – it’s as if she doesn’t exist.

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Photo by hebedesign/Flickr (Creative Commons)

This week we’ve been featuring the first-person stories people who live in families of mixed immigration status, families in which some members are U.S. citizens or legal residents and others remain undocumented, often unable to adjust their status.

With the demand for family reunification high and the number of immigrant visas available each year low, especially for hopeful immigrants in countries like Mexico and the Philippines, mixed-status families are common in the United States. But with the risk of deportation always present, family members keep quiet, not revealing why they can’t do things other families take for granted.

KPCC’s Public Insight Network has asked people who are willing to share their stories to write in about their experiences, and several have. Among those whose stories have been featured this week was one young woman, the U.S. born child of undocumented parents, who wrote, “Mixed citizenship status within a family causes frustration, uncertainty, secrecy, lies.”

Yesterday’s post featured the story of an Orange County man who has legal status but whose siblings don’t, although they all arrived in the U.S. as minors.

Today’s story comes from a 32-year-old woman in Kansas City, Missouri who was born in the U.S. to Mexican immigrants. She has been with her partner, a woman who is undocumented, since 2008. ”I knew she was undocumented, but it didn’t matter to me,” she wrote. “I loved her and still love her.”

But as she tells it, their life together isn’t easy:

It hurts to keep so many secrets. I can’t put her on an application for a loan and I have to say I’m the only person in the household. I can’t put her on my health or auto insurance and again – it’s as if she doesn’t exist.

We share a car because I don’t feel comfortable knowing she is driving at night (she works at two restaurants). She works weekends, so I know that there is plenty of police patrol on Friday and Saturday nights. I had to learn to drive stick shift (but that’s a positive)!

I have a professional career and I hate not being able to take her to company events where they may require valid drivers license/identification/etc. I hate that I can go to college and she (who is miles ahead of me), can’t. I hate that she is taken advantage of at work and she can’t just quit or file grievances like I could.

Our emotional relationship has also had problems because (she’ll never admit this), but she feels helpless. She wants to be the breadwinner. She wants to be the provider. She doesn’t want me to drive her around. She doesn’t want me to worry about bills. I’ve seen her cry and it kills me.

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Photo by barnabywasson/Flickr (Creative Commons)

A series of posts that began in August, prompted by the arrest and detention of President Obama’s undocumented half-uncle, has explored the prevalence of mixed-status families. These are families composed of a blend of U.S. citizens and/or legal residents and undocumented immigrants, often living under one roof. There might be undocumented parents, grandparents, siblings, children, or as with the First Family, aunts and uncles.

Very often, the family members who are undocumented have have tried to adjust their immigration status but can’t, even through marriage. And so these families remain mixed in their status, unable to do many of the things other families take for granted.

What is it like to live in a family in which your spouse, your parents, a sibling or other relative is undocumented? A post last week featured a mini-essay from one reader, a U.S. citizen who has unsuccessfully tried to adjust her husband’s status. She wrote about how simple things, like adding him to her employer-sponsored health plan, are impossible to do. Since then, KPCC’s Public Insight Network has asked others to share their stories about a phenomenon that is surprisingly common, but seldom discussed outside the family.

We’ll be featuring some of their stories here, starting with this one from Susana, a young woman in Los Angeles who was willing to share hers. She is a U.S. citizen, but her parents, who were born in Mexico, are undocumented and can’t adjust their status. Here’s what she wrote:

My dad and mom came to the US shortly after they married. I was born here and so was my younger brother. My parents have been here 21 years and they are still undocumented.

My dad spoke to a lawyer regarding the process for residency and he told my dad that it would be pretty much impossible to help him with his situation. We are waiting until I turn 21 so I can file for them. My parents work minimum wage jobs which means they have to work long shifts with usually just one day off. They don’t receive any benefits, health insurance, vacation. We live in a two bedroom apartment because that’s all we can afford.

My parents have been saving money to buy a home for about ten years now but the prospects of that actually occurring seem to diminish everyday.

The only reason I am able to afford college is because I receive financial aid and I was able to take out a generous amount of money in loans. My parents could never afford to send me to UCLA paying out of pocket, so I found a way to do so without putting a heavy load on their shoulders.

Secrecy is important because the revelation of undocumented is a stigma, especially right now with so much ignorant anti-immigrant sentiment throughout the country. Fear is something we live with. It’s our enemy because it’s always there reminding us of who we are but it’s also our friend since it has been with us for so long.

Fear is involved in everything we do and everywhere we go. Driving or paying with a credit card (no license or valid ID). Deportation is always a possibility as well. Our future as a family is uncertain.

Mixed citizenship status within a family causes frustration, uncertainty, secrecy, lies. It’s a burden at times and something that is thought about every single day.

Do you have a story to share? Feel free to post comments below, or view the Public Insight Network questions here.