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This latest in a series of first-person stories from people in families of mixed immigration status comes from Alison Gamez, a U.S. citizen in Arizona whose husband is undocumented. Now in deportation proceedings, he was unable to adjust his status, even through marriage.

It’s a common misperception that this is easily done. The reality is that while those who entered with temporary visas and overstayed illegally stand a decent chance of legalizing through marriage, tighter immigration laws have made it nearly impossible for those who entered without visas to adjust their status, even when they marry a citizen.

Gamez’s story joins several that Multi-American has published in the past week from members of mixed-status families, including stories from the U.S. citizen daughter of undocumented parents, the legal-resident brother of undocumented siblings, and a woman born in Kansas City whose domestic partner is undocumented.

Yesterday’s post shared a different perspective from a Portland man who works with public school students from immigrant families, many of them living in mixed-status households.

Gamez and her husband, who is soon due to be repatriated to Mexico, live in Surprise, Arizona, outside Phoenix. Here’s what she shared via KPCC’s  Public Insight Network, which has been been collecting the stories of people living in or familiar with these families.

My husband entered the country without papers over 10 years ago. We started living together about 7 years ago, and that is when I discovered that the laws had changed, and my husband could no longer become legal forever. So we did not marry at that time because we both had first bad marriages.

Then I heard on the radio that if we married, his kids (living with my husband’s mom in Mexico – his wife took off with another man) could become legal and remain legal. So we got married. After that, he was stopped by Border Patrol on a highway (the 303), and we got trapped in the immigration system. He is set for deportation in January 2014, but allowed to live here legally until then.

People who don’t have undocumented family members don’t believe me when I tell them he can’t get papers. They don’t believe me when I tell them my brother-in-law can not enter this country legally to pick crops. They always tell me I’m mistaken. Or they’re callous and don’t understand how easy it was for their ancestors to enter, and how difficult it is now.

(In response to “What do you wish others knew about families whose members have a mix of citizenship, legal residency or undocumented/lapsed immigration status?”) That we want our rights as U.S. citizens to be respected by allowing us to live with the people we love, just like anyone else. That the laws were quietly changed in 1996 to take place in 2001 and since then it’s been so ridiculously unfair.

I am willing to pay whatever to have my husband here. I love him. He works in construction. He’s a good man. He makes me happy. I just want my good marriage to be able to stay together in the country I was born (in).

(In response to “What steps, if any, have members of your family taken to correct visa or immigration problems?”) We submitted papers. They gave him until January, 2014 to see if laws will change, then he is expected to leave, and no one cares what happens to me.

Mixed-status families are surprisingly common in the United States, where the demand for family reunification is high and the number of immigrant visas available low. It’s not uncommon to find families composed of U.S. citizens and/or legal residents and undocumented immigrants, sometimes under one roof. As several of those who have submitted stories so far have attested, things other families take for granted are not done easily in these families, if at all.

Do you have a story to share? Feel free to post comments below, or view the Public Insight Network questions here.

Photo by freeformkatia/Flickr (Creative Commons)

A series of posts that began last week has related the personal stories of people in families of mixed immigration status, families composed of a blend of U.S. citizens and/or legal residents and undocumented immigrants, sometimes living under one roof. It’s a common phenomenon in the United States that also tends to stay secret, seldom disclosed beyond the family.

So far, the people who have sent their stories in to KPCC’s Public Insight Network have been members of mixed-status families, among them a young U.S. citizen woman whose parents have never been able to legalize their immigration status, the legal-resident brother of undocumented siblings who came here as minors, and a woman born in Kansas City whose partner is undocumented. All shared a common thread: What other families take for granted – taking a trip, for instance – isn’t something that mixed-status families do easily, if at all.

Today’s post shares a different perspective. It was submitted by Andrew Baron, who works with immigrant and refugee children in grades 5 through 8 in the Portland, Oregon public schools as part of a non-profit school-based program. Many of the students he deals with live in mixed-status Mexican immigrant households, with the older children born in Mexico and younger children born in the U.S. Many of their parents are undocumented. Baron writes about the kids:

Many of my students have a lot of sad issues with their cultural identity, stemming from the kind of hateful things they hear all the time about them and their families. The undocumented population in Portland is pretty big, so there’s not as much fear or secrecy as there are kids growing up having to listen to their neighbors and the media speak about their parents as if they were sub-human. That causes lasting damage to kids, and it sucks.

I’ve found it very difficult to be in a position where you actually have to try explaining to some people the definition of a human being. For many people in our culture, the lack of legal residency has become a great excuse to attack people who are vulnerable. Sadly, I don’t think it comes from ignorance. When you ask these people who they imagine picks and slaughters the food they eat, they readily concede that it’s mostly done by the very people they categorize as being such a drain on society. I think it comes from a pernicious attitude that’s taken hold in the U.S. whereby many people take pride in denying reality and denigrating people less powerful than they are.

As I type, the father of one of my students is sitting in a cell in Tacoma, awaiting deportation after being stopped for a minor traffic violation. Thus far I’ve written a character letter for him, explaining what a good father and community member he is. I tried to attend his initial hearing, but was told by his wife the judge won’t let anyone attend.

I’ve heard some interesting interviews with farmers and other employers who can’t get any Americans to do the difficult work done by undocumented immigrants. You should probably talk more with them. Also, talk to undocumented teenagers who’ve been led to believe that if they just study hard and follow the rules they’ll be rewarded in this country. That has turned out to be a colossal lie, and they’re the first to suffer for it.

Do you have a story to share, as a member of a mixed-status family or someone who is familiar with one? Feel free to post comments below, or view the Public Insight Network questions here.

Photo by nunodantas/Flickr (Creative Commons)

In a series of posts last week, people living in families of mixed immigration status shared their personal experiences. One young woman wrote about being the child of undocumented parents and a family life fraught with “frustration, uncertainty, secrecy, lies.”

A man who has legal status – but whose siblings don’t – wrote about communicating with them via text message with warnings about highway checkpoints. And the partner of an undocumented woman wrote about how frustrating it is not to be able to take her to company events or add her name to a loan application or insurance policy, “as if she doesn’t exist.”

With more demand for family reunification than there are immigrant visas, mixed-status families are common – even the First Family has undocumented relatives. U.S. citizens often live under the same roof with undocumented parents, siblings, spouses or other family members.

Multi-American readers willing to share their stories were asked to do so, and some have. Jennifer Chenoweth-Ruiz posted this comment about her family’s experience (unedited):

MY real kids father was deported last year and know they don’t even know him. they were only 6 months and 1 1/2 when he was taken away from them.  It’s very sad waking up every morning knowing that it could be the last day you see that person.

The man i am with now is undocumented he is a good friend of my and my kids know him as their father. I wake up every morning scared for my life for him. Now that my kids are almost 2 and 3 they know who their dad is and it would break my heart for him to get deported and for my kids to ask me everyday “where’s daddy?”

People who are not in mixed families don’t understand the pain that we go through. My family and i never go out and vacation, the biggest vacation we have is going to the grocery store and it makes it that much more scarier when a police car is following behind you. To me it is inhumane to take a parent out of a childs life due to a “law”. That kid will be traumatized for the rest of their life never fully understanding why they can’t see their parent. it breaks my heart but this is my story.

Another reader who posted as “Anonymous” shared this:

Photo by nunodantas/Flickr (Creative Commons)

A post yesterday kicked off a series of posts related to families of mixed immigration status, with readers sharing their own stories. Mixed-status families are a common but seldom discussed phenomenon in the United States, composed of some members who were born here or have legal status, and others who don’t. They have been a semi-regular theme on this site since August, when President Obama’s long-lost undocumented half-uncle was arrested and detained.

What is it like to live in a family in which your spouse, your parents, a sibling or other relative is undocumented? KPCC’s Public Insight Network has been asking that question over the past few days, and the responses from those willing to share their experiences have been illuminating. In yesterday’s post, a young U.S. citizen whose parents have tried but failed to adjust their immigration status wrote: “Fear is involved in everything we do and everywhere we go.”

In an earlier post, a woman wrote about how things one might take for granted – like adding your spouse to the company health plan – are impossible to do when that spouse is undocumented.

Today’s personal story comes from a 34-year-old legal permanent resident in Orange County. He came to the U.S. from Mexico at age 13 with his family in 1989, overstaying their visitor’s visas. He obtained his green card last year, but because two of his four siblings remain undocumented (a third has a work permit), he asked that his name not be published for fear of their deportation. Here’s what he wrote:

As a family, since my youngest brother and my sister are undocumented, we are unable to go anywhere there might be a chance with encountering ICE agents.

My siblings and I have not gone back to the small town in Mexico where we grew up, even when close family members have been sick or passed away, afraid to not be able to come back to our families here in the U.S. Since checkpoints are quite common in Orange County where we live, we keep each other informed via text messages whenever we find out about checkpoints in order to avoid an unnecessary encounter with the authorities.

Regardless of our mixed immigration status, the lines of authority within our family have stayed unchanged. We’ve relied mostly on our parents for support and for help whenever we’ve found ourselves in financial struggles or whenever we needed someone with legal documents in order for us to do or buy what we needed to do.

My dad was the first one to acquire his citizenship, then my mom got her permanent residency through my dad’s citizenship status. By the time my dad became a naturalized U.S. citizen we were past the age where he could petition to quickly adjust our legal status.

My sister, who was 15 when we arrived is now 36 and a mother of 3 U.S. citizens. Her and her husband are still undocumented. My brother who was 8 when we arrived is now 30 and a father of 3 U.S. citizens. He was detained by ICE 2 years ago and currently holds a temporary work permit while he fights his case. My youngest brother who was 4 when we arrived and is now 26. He lives with his girlfriend and her daughter who is a U.S. citizen. Both are still undocumented.

As for myself, I was 13 when I arrived and now 34. My wife and 3 kids are U.S. citizens and I now hold a conditional permanent residency thanks to my wife who decided to marry me after a friend’s mom was detained and deported. Fearing that I would encounter the same fate, she decided to marry me after 7 years of living together.

(In response to “What frustrations or specific problems do you experience as a member of a family with mixed immigration status?) Fear. Fear that my siblings who are still undocumented will be picked up by ICE agents and deported. Fear that they’ll be deported and their children be picked up by Child Protective Services. Fear that they lose their employment due to their legal status.

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